What is poverty? (2)

I just sent these thoughts to a friend and am reposting them here. Because I’m frustrated. And I somehow make myself feel better by telling the whole world that.

Yes, I want to be a person who lives simply and loves the poor. But I just realized in this moment, that I don’t want to BE poor. I want to travel, eat organically, live comfortably, and HELP the poor. I really don’t want to be one of them. Maybe that’s my problem. Until I’m okay with being poor and experience it myself, what good am i going to be to those that will always be poor? Maybe I just want to work with the poor because I feel good doing so, maybe it’s not a good thing, but actually a prideful act. And what is poverty anyway? I know it’s a state of mind, not always a financial state of being, but right now i feel financially poor and i want to control that. I certainly don’t want to trust God that he’ll take care of me. I should be able to do that on my own, without his help. Such lies I allow myself to believe. Such great lies.


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#gospel #poor #trials #truth #poverty

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