I went to Mississippi for the weekend and on my way home, between Bolivar and Jackson TN, my car died. I didn’t have cell service so all I could do was pray that someone would stop to help me. I popped the hood and stood staring at it, praying that whoever stopped would be a mechanic. Toby, a DCS worker in Jackson, saw me break down and turned around to help me out. Thinking it was the alternator, he said he’d install a new one for me if that was the case. So after jump-starting the car 3 times we were able to drive it back to Bolivar to an Auto parts store.
The car died again as I pulled into the parking lot so I coasted to a spot. After determining that indeed, the alternator was dead and this auto store didn’t have a new one, we took Toby’s truck (I completely trusted him at this point) to the Auto Zone that he used to manage down the road. On the way I found out he works on stereos as a hobby. Interestingly, my car radio works but the CD player has been broken so I mentioned it to him. He reached under the seat of his truck and pulled out not one, but two new CD players that he happened to have in his truck.
He then proceeded to install my new alternator. After that, he checked out my CD player and before I knew it, he was taking out my old one and installing a new one – refusing to let me buy the new one from him. He didn’t allow me to pay him, or buy him dinner, he just took care of me. And our conversation leaves me confident that it wasn’t because he was hoping to get something else out of the deal.
As I was driving the rest of the way home, feeling very loved and acknowledged by God, I thought “I am a really healthy, whole person. I like that and I’m glad to finally feel that again.” The next thought that went through my head was, “wait. yesterday I wasn’t.” Although Toby’s kindness gave me encouragement and comfort that I am not alone, I am still not whole. I’m still completely screwed up, broken, and empty. Wholeness only comes through Christ every single day, I’m always going to be a mess no matter what I do. And…that’s where I’m at today.