I’ve known my friend, Anthony, for close to one year. Unfortunately, our travel schedules and the fact that we always see each other when there are at least a dozen other people around, have kept us from actually getting to know each other. Last week, I could have told you only three or four facts about him. Today, I could give you some actual insight into the character of this great guy. The difference?
I asked him.
My personality requires great things of my friends. I have this wonderful habit of asking questions to get to know people. Fun questions, deep questions, lots and lots of questions. My friends made the observation this week that a conversation with me can be like an all-out interview. I take that as a compliment.
I am not pushy with my questions, so don’t be afraid for a conversation! If I ask a question that is too deep or personal, I make sure people know that saying “I can’t answer that”, or “I don’t know”, is perfectly acceptable. Hey, I’m just getting to know you. I don’t expect you to trust me with the inner workings of your soul. Although, if you want to share, I hope I’ll never abuse that gift.
In the last year, I have met countless people. Some, I’ve known for the entire year, but have not had the pleasure of the interview. Until we’ve spoken one-on-one, and learned a few fun facts about each other, I feel like I know nothing about you. That may not be the case, but a part of my brain believes that we are not truly amigos until a solid conversation has taken place. The word ‘ridiculous’ comes to mine when I realize that this month marks the one year mark of knowing many folks whom I call friend and we have not had one-on-one time. I’m grateful that Anthony humored me and answered my questions. I know him so much better now, and look forward to a long friendship.
How do you get to know people? How are you different from me? God created us each to experience life and relationships differently, with a few constants. One of those is that we need relationships. We exist in community. Invest in the people around you. Let me know if you need a few questions to get you started!